Yesterday morning arrived with the best attitude ever and a burst of energy that caught me by surprise. For a few hours I tackled one project after another: dusting, paperwork, tidying…I even opened the blinds to let the sunshine into this otherwise appropriately named “Man Cave” in which I spend most of my days.
I even sang a few bars of some old favorites! Oh to sing again!! My heart soared!
And then it crashed.
The coughing began a little before noon and continued mercilessly for four hours, intensifying so much that I doubted whether I’d survive. That is, in spite of the ICD in my chest.
Weak and lifeless, I remained in my chair, thankful for its spiritual and physical comfort. Here I am eighteen hours later, still so weak that even tapping this out on my laptop will require a period of recuperation.
I’m not giving up; I’m just resting. And with an open, realistic mind I believe I’ll work on my Last Will and Testament a little more. It’s actually fun to think of giving away all these things I’ve collected over the course of 52 years.
Before I forget…I am profoundly grateful for the snowy view outside my door. Just between us, I wonder if it’s the last one I’ll see.
© Maria R. Conklin and Journey Of A Tired Heart, 2015-2016